this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
