I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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