the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
