I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
