Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
