I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
