mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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