I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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