I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize