i don't plan on having that self control this summer
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
