he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I'm sobbing to NWA
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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