the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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