I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
