I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Is it because I queefed?
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
