I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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