I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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