oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize