I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Still dying that you shit outside
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
