ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
