ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
