is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Blood and glitter go together right?
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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