I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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