just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
