how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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