is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize