I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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