are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize
