I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
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