The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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