I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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