oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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