How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Randomize
