I just saw a hot homeless man
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
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