college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
