Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
