your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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