I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
