If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
