That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
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