So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
