Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize
