The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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