Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
he puts the penis in happiness.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
