Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
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I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
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The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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