she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
