my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
