kristin has been a bad kristin
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
