Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Randomize