every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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