Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
