I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Randomize
