Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
