i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
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