god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
