FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize