It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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