You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize