Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
