Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
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