I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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