please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
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the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
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I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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