My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
