So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
