He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize
